Sauerkraut Here!
I’m sneaking a post at work, yikes!
I feel like I’m in the calm before the storm because things seem to be too good to be true... I have a job, it's pretty cool, my family is okay and I'm starting to make friends? Weird.
Friday night was girl’s night out with Chickpea and Tar-J AKA Sheek Geek’s fiancé. I choose this as her nickname because the girl is addicted to Target like a 2 year old is to chocolate milk. Actually, my nephew has a taste for coffee. He likes chocolate milk too, but when no one is looking he sneaks drinks of his dads’ coffee. Anyways…
Friday night I went over to Chickpeas house to try on some dresses for my company Christmas party on Saturday night. After Chickpea stuffed me in a few dresses, literally stuffed me into dresses I picked out to and
After trying on tons of dresses that didn’t fit me I decided it was time for food. Chickpea and I headed for the restaurant where we planned to meet up with Tar-J but stopped off at Toys R Us where Auntie Sauerkraut almost had a panic attack trying to purchase a gift for her Izzy Monster. As we rolled into the restaurant parking lot we noticed we were no longer riding in style, but rather dragging what sounded like a fucking toolbox behind us.
We spent the next 5-10 minutes pulling the car in and out of a parking spot (which really pissed off a bunch of people who thought they had just scored on a good spot) and eventually, after meeting up with Tar-J, drove it to the tire store… Nine minutes before close.
There wasn’t much the tire guys could/would do for us at that hour, so we drove the car back to the restaurant and I called my brother. I provided him with a wonderful description of the problem and Chickpea held the phone out the window for him to listen to the problem. He diagnosed the problem and we finally made it to the restaurant for dinner.
Afterward we did some shoe shopping, more shopping at Target and drove around looking at Christmas lights. Apparently there’s a guy in Utah that purchased an FM signal and he sync’s his outdoor Christmas lights with the music he plays on the FM station, its pretty rad. Out past our bed times we called it a night and headed home.
The Christmas House
The next morning, after getting her car fixed, Chickpea came over to my apartment to help me make some Christmas Octopi for my company Christmas party that night. Thank shitness she helped me because it took us all damn day, minus a lunch break and a run to the craft store.
The Christmas Octopi, that for some reason everyone loved?
To no surprise Mr. Coconut and I started getting ready for the party far too late and as a result I looked like crap and my house was even more trashed, I honestly didn’t think that was possible.
And now it’s time for the Christmas party…
Mr. Coconut helped me get things set up and I couldn’t rest until I knew that my direct boss and the CEO of the company were pleased. I sat at the kids table with Sheek Geek, Tar-J and Mr. Coconut, actually it was more like the losers table, no one wanted to sit with us, boo. Honestly, I could care less, more rolls for us! I’d say things went well and I think my boss/CEO were happy, but I was pretty disappointed in myself because I know what I’m capable of. Let’s just say the Martha Stewart in me was not satisfied.
A conversation between Mr. Coconut and I at the party:
Sauerkraut: "I can’t fucking breath in these Spanx!"Mr. Coconut: "What are those?"Sauerkraut: "Spanx! They hold in your fat."
Mr. Coconut: "Oh, I see you wearing them in the bathroom (when we were getting ready); I was going to ask you why you were wearing football pants... If you’re uncomfortable, take off your uniform."
Another conversation between Mr. Coconut and I (Mr. Coconut is eating a piece of asparagus.):
Sauerkraut: "I didn’t know you liked asparagus?"
Mr. Coconut: "Oh, my doctor say I need to eat more vegetable and I think this is a vegetable?"
Oh my shitness, too funny.
P.S. The overpriced food was bogus! The rolls were good, only because they had honey butter to accompany them, the salad was yucky, and the steak was so raw that not even I could eat the thing. In fact, at one point Mr. Coconut looked at me, lifted his plate and said, “I think the cow is still looking at me.” The dessert was Crème Brule, I’ve never had crème Brule so I tried it, and it was awful, never again.
After the Christmas party we walked next door to the club/bar. As always I hated it. I hate the nasty guys who think (key word, think) they’re the shit, the sick fuck’s who glance at my boobs, the skanky girls, the skanky girls who are completely clueless that they can’t give me dirty looks for no reason without being confronted and everything else that comes with a club/bar. Needless to say I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
I finally made it home and I couldn’t have been happier.
Sunday, I felt like shit, seriously. I was so tired and I had the worst headache, maybe I woke up too early? After a trip to the grocery store I made the boys breakfast and started making cookies for a cookie exchange I have today. I also spent the day doing laundry and picking up my house. By the end of the day I was exhausted, I fell asleep around 9:30PM and waking up this morning was torture.
My cookies for the cookie exchange. Oh joy!
That is all.
Sauerkraut
P.S. A Facebook post from The Neighbor girl regarding my nephew, Izzy:
Lipstick Joy!
“I’m sure one day I will look back and have a good laugh about today, but today wasn't that day. First, Izzy decided he was going to use a whole tube of lip stick to color himself and the bathroom red. Second, he colored on himself with black permanent marker. Third, he threw his lava lamp and shattered it all over the floor. Fourth, he covered himself and his side kick, Dragon - The Dog, in Vick’s Vapor Rub! I NEED A DRINK!”
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comment Here!