Ms. Poopy Pants

Sauerkraut Here!

Here’s a good story… My mother called me from work today because she was sad that all of her co-workers were planning an Easter egg hunt for their kids/grandkids and she wasn’t invited because she doesn’t have either. Honestly, I felt really bad for her because I could tell her feelings were hurt.

Later in the day I was sitting on the couch using the computer when I realized I had to fart. Since I’m in the comfort of my own home I decided to let it rip… Well, that was a mistake.

This didn’t feel like a normal fart and it wasn’t long before I asked myself, “Did I just shit myself!?” I jumped up, checked my pants and indeed, I fucking shit myself.

In a panic I rushed to the toilet, jumped in the shower and started the washer. When I got out of the shower I called my mom to inform her that her daughter had just shit her pants. As a result I was hoping we’d get an invitation to the Easter egg hunt because I, like the other kids/grandkids, was still shitting my pants.

In other news, on Sunday I had breakfast with Sheek Geek and Tar-J at the Sego Lily Café in Bountiful, Utah, Tar-J’s pick. It was a cool little place; they converted an old brick house into a restaurant (PDX would have loved this place, although I don’t think the food was weird enough for her). Anyways, I had the Cashew French Toast as did my food soul mate, Sheek Geek. Speaking of Sheek Geek…

When I arrived at the house I could tell both kido’s were sleepy and I was no different. I waited on the couch with my favorite bipolar Chihuahua (who loved me that day) and when Sheek Geek was ready we pilled into the car. Well, that was a mistake.

I tried to warn him by closing my eyes, plugging my ears and screaming but it was to late. Sheek Geek had already put the car in reverse, stepped on the gas and slammed into my car.

To be honest, I wasn’t upset at all. I was a little shocked at what had just happened and I was thinking to myself, “This would happen to me,” but I wasn’t mad. Did I think my VW Beetle had been turned into a smart car, yup.

Poor Sheek Geek just couldn’t take it; he just sat in the car with his hand over his face. But little Tar-J was in full-blown “everybody stay calm, we can fix it” mode. When I got out of the car to see the damage I was shocked! There wasn’t, from what Tar-J and I could see, any damage. How could this be? Puppy magic.

Today was my day off and aside from shitting my pants it was a good day. I got some chores taken care off, my house picked up and some laundry done.

Tomorrow it’s back to work at the flower shop. As always, I’m excited to learn/make stuff, but I’m starting to get frustrated that I’m not progressing in certain areas. Speaking of jobs…

I went to a second interview at that place I was telling you about in a previous post… I walked out of there, not wanting the job. I thought the first interview was bad, nope. The two idiots who interviewed me had the worst interviewing skills. They had no relevant questions and there was more silence in the room, than conversation. They weren’t friendly, they mocked my mannerism’s, they informed me that they “weren’t happy my potential predecessor was leaving,” they told me there was “no room for growth in the company” and they asked me how I liked one of the girls I previously interviewed with because “not many people in the company like working with her and I will be working in the same cubical as her.” Way to sell your company, dumb shits.

To answer PDX’s questions…

1) Let’s Get Metaphysical… “Explore spiritual tools to help you better understand yourself. Sample several metaphysics topics including: examine your individual astrological chart, uncovering the names of your guardian angels, past-life regression, tarot card reading, and more.”

2) Am I staying in Utah? I honestly don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

Finally, everyone seems to like Cowboy Cake 1, the most important vote being my little nephew, so… Cowboy Cake 1 it is, sigh.

That is all.

Sauerkraut