Dirty Slut

Sauerkraut Here!

I’m not sure if I told you this yesterday, but my bedroom lights went out when I was trying to get ready for work, so I really did get ready in the dark. After work I went to the store to buy new ones and I saw HoBo! He was running and I wanted to stop the car and grab him, but it was cold and dark and I was not in the mood to chase a fucking cat.

When I got home I put my new bulbs in and it was like I had a whole new bedroom! I think I was living with one half-ass light bulb. Moving on… Because that was a really lame story and I’m not sure why I even shared that with you.

I was up all night with the screamers and it was not fun. I woke up with the BG’s and the next thing I knew I was tromping through my apartment to the bathroom. I’m no good at being sick, I sit there shivering with sweat dripping down my face and my body feels so weak that all I want to do is pass out on the floor with my pants around my ankles. Okay, I’m not going to lie, this happens every time.

When I thought I was done being sick I went back to bed but had to get up awhile later. I felt like I had lost 20 pounds as a result of being sick, but it magically it reappeared this morning when I tried to squeeze my fat ass into my pants. Sigh.

In other news, my nephew has a fungus. A fungus everyone thought was a birthmark. Unfortunately I’ve never noticed the fungus, which is surprising considering I’ve seen him naked more than I’ve seen him clothes. Should I be sharing this stuff? Apparently he got this fungus from a swimming pool/water park. I think it might be a result of him peeing in his bathwater, but every little kid does that, right? Do all little kids get a fungus? Some of us are predicting that it was from the time he kissed a girls butt at a water park. Regardless, I’m choosing to see the positive in the situation, let’s consider this his first lesson involving the opposite sex… Don’t get involved with a girl who will let you kiss her ass on the first encounter, because you might get a fungus. Dirty little slut.

That is all.

Sauerkraut