Sauerkraut Here!
A few things…
Super Buy!
Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and discovered a bright orange sticker on my jacket. I asked my co-workers and even the guy that was here painting our lobby wall if he put it on me as a joke, which would be fine; I just wanted to know how it got there. After hours of pondering the question, “Where this sticker came from and how did it get on me?” My boss asked me, “Did you have a bagel this morning.” “Why yes I did,” I replied. Then it hit me! When I was preparing my usual blueberry bagel I somehow managed to remove the sticker from the bagel bag, stick it to my jacket and roll on out, clueless that I was walking around with a “Super Buy!” sticker stuck to my idiot self.
Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and discovered a bright orange sticker on my jacket. I asked my co-workers and even the guy that was here painting our lobby wall if he put it on me as a joke, which would be fine; I just wanted to know how it got there. After hours of pondering the question, “Where this sticker came from and how did it get on me?” My boss asked me, “Did you have a bagel this morning.” “Why yes I did,” I replied. Then it hit me! When I was preparing my usual blueberry bagel I somehow managed to remove the sticker from the bagel bag, stick it to my jacket and roll on out, clueless that I was walking around with a “Super Buy!” sticker stuck to my idiot self.
Working at the flower shop sure beats coming home smelling like fajitas. Last night we processed some flowers and then had a fun activity, we got to pick out a bundle of flowers and wrap them, mine was the best. Ha, ha! No, really. Not only was it the prettiest, it had all the necessary elements (a focal flower, mass flower, line flower, etc. I went all white with a huge, fragrant, Stargazer Lily as my focal flower. I picked some Bells of Ireland, duh, for greenery and a deep purple wrap to compliment the green in the Bells of Ireland and make the white flowers pop. Bitch I’m the bomb like… tick… tick. Moving on…
Last night I went to KFC because for whatever reason I really wanted chicken and potatoes. I ordered the number 5, but meant to order the number 7. But! This was not my fault… Don’t put a giant graphic reading $5 on the number 7 option! I was distracted! Luckily, I figured it out when they asked me if I wanted legs or thighs. Then, they had to refund my money and it was a huge fucking disaster. And yes, I wanted my fucking $1.92 back because I overdrew my fucking bank account for that fucking KFC.
Each morning that I drive to work several idiots fly past me at warp speed. For example, I’ll be waiting at a stop light, the light will turn green and the car next to me will floor it to get ahead of me before the lanes merge. Do I care? Nope. Why? Because unlike the idiot next to me, I’m in no hurry, whatsoever to get to work faster. Idiots.
You know who I think is pretty, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
My mom just sent me the following story:
Just this side of heaven is a place called “Rainbow Bridge.”
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals that had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.
Author unknown
Then she sends another email reading, “He would be the one running crooked.” Ha, ha! My mom's the shit.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
My cute little grandpa and his toasted marshmellow.
Several people inspire me, but today I'm picking my grandpa, because I've always strived to be like him. He's a true "man" and I would be lucky to end up with someone half as great as him as a partner in life. He's: handsome, funny, extremely intelligent, successful, strong, very loving, giving and has been the perfect "father figure" in my life. I have SO much respect for him and truly love him more than he will ever know (which is sad, I should really tell him, but I'm chicken).
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Hmm. Something that has made a huge impact on my life recently? Change. I think I’ve realized (more than before) that I’m in a transitional phase. I also think the universe has sent me several signals that it’s time for a change.
I think I’m done with this post?
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Peeps in PDX
Hmm. Something that has made a huge impact on my life recently? Change. I think I’ve realized (more than before) that I’m in a transitional phase. I also think the universe has sent me several signals that it’s time for a change.
I think I’m done with this post?
That is all.
Sauerkraut
Just received a phone call from Mr. Coconut at work:
Sauerkraut (in her "fake voice"): "Good afternoon, ******, this is Sauerkraut."
Mr. Coconut: "Babe!"
Sauerkraut: "What?"
Mr. Coconut: "Why when you find out it me, you be mean?"
Sauerkraut: "Because I don't have to be nice to you, what do you need? Make it quick, I'm at work."
Mr. Coconut (so excited): Oh! You know there a DASH by my house!?
If you don't know "DASH" is the name of the store that the Kardashian sisters own.
Sauerkraut: "No dude. Three are only 3 locations and the one you're talking about is a fitness center."
Mr. Coconut (with a sad tone to his voice): Oh. Okay. Bye.
Ha, ha! How precious is that! He really thought the Kardashians would open a DASH Store in Utah!
Just received a phone call from Mr. Coconut at work:
Sauerkraut (in her "fake voice"): "Good afternoon, ******, this is Sauerkraut."
Mr. Coconut: "Babe!"
Sauerkraut: "What?"
Mr. Coconut: "Why when you find out it me, you be mean?"
Sauerkraut: "Because I don't have to be nice to you, what do you need? Make it quick, I'm at work."
Mr. Coconut (so excited): Oh! You know there a DASH by my house!?
If you don't know "DASH" is the name of the store that the Kardashian sisters own.
Sauerkraut: "No dude. Three are only 3 locations and the one you're talking about is a fitness center."
Mr. Coconut (with a sad tone to his voice): Oh. Okay. Bye.
Ha, ha! How precious is that! He really thought the Kardashians would open a DASH Store in Utah!
I think Almost Husband and I need to hang out with you and Coconut again. Let adventures ensue.
ReplyDelete1) You are a super buy.
ReplyDelete2) I'm not surprised you're good with flowers. I can totally picture you owning a flower shop...next to my bookstore. :)
3) As much as I whine about Portlanders driving slowly, I do NOT miss utard drivers. Not one bit!
4) I'm dying over you being "mean" on the phone when you find out it's Mr. Coconut. I, too, have fake phone voice, my friend, but it is nowhere near as good as yours. We gots skillz.