Well I did it. I woke up super early; drove past three squished bunnies and arrived, “bright and surly” to teach swimming lessons. I even shaved my cahootie!
I have six kids in my level four class, and if you don’t already know level four basically focuses on stroke improvement. They practice things like: diving from the side of the pool, survival floating and open turns.
They all seem like decent kids, but I’m pretty sure two of them will drown when I’m not looking. Moving on... Teaching is a challenge for me because I’m very blunt and bossy. When I teach kids I need to constantly remind myself to be patient, be positive, give constructive feedback and let them have a little fun. I’m cringing.
Anyways, no one drown, I didn’t have any parents yell at me… Yet. And I was self-conscious about my pasty skin and cottage cheese thighs the entire time. Oh! And I got punched in the boob and forgot my chonies, so the drive home was very uncomfortable.
When I got back I put on some chonies, some random fucked up outfit and headed to my moms house. Within 30 minutes I was back in the car and headed for some out of town shopping. The best part! I had $80 in my pocket. “I’m rich bitch!”
After doing a shit ton of returns (which I’m famous for) I found a few cute items to add to my wardrobe… That I’ll probably return. Seriously.
Anyways, when I got back to town I walked my dog and found the following items in the park, if you pay close attention, it could tell a story…
A few bottles of chardonnay...
a sweatshirt...
the condom wrapper... lubricated...
and a tampon applicator!
1) This park is a fucking gold mine!
2) What the fuck is going on in this park!? Seriously!
When I got home I worked on my cake, which is taking way too long, and now I’m filling out my grandparents Census… Because my life is awesome and I know how to party on a Friday night, what!? Maybe I should go to the park?
Some other crap… My grandparents have been gone for less than a week and already my grandmother had an accident in a store, someone crashed into the Jazzy ramp on the back of their vehicle and something went wrong with one of the $300 tires on The Bus. Awesome.
That is all.
Sauerkraut
Congrats on making it through the swimming class! And you're right...that park is a crazy goldmine for odd objects, and is apparently getting more action than half the people I know.
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