Sweaty Showcase Showdown And Stupid Crap In The Park

Sauerkraut Here!

Recently I posted about Lucifur pissing all over my clean laundry to which I Heart to Fart commented (thanks for commenting by the way) “it looks like my sweaty armpits.” Indeed it did.

I Heart To Fart is a very sweaty guy. In fact, sometimes he would sweat so much at work that we would have to go shopping for a new dress shirt on our lunch break. Anyways, his comment reminded me of a little story, a story that involves some very sweaty I Heart To Fart armpits…

My two buddies and I try to take a trip once a year to stay connected. Plus it’s a good excuse to get away, act half our age and do random crap. One year we went to Las Vegas, Nevada and caught a couple of shows. This particular day we went to “The Price is Right.” Not the actual Price is Right, but a spin-off version. David Ruprecht, a former host of Supermarket Sweep, hosted the show and it operated exactly like the real version.

While the production crew set up the next game the announcer would keep the crowd entertained by calling off random names in the audience. If he called you’re name you were lucky enough to win some random item or $5 bucks toward the casino. Super lucky… Okay.

While waiting for the production crew to set up the final game, the announcer read off some names, one of which was our dear friend I Heart To Fart. He must have been daydreaming about a smoke break because when he heard his name called he looked at PDX and I in shock.

I Heart To Fart: “Did they just call my name?”
PDX and I: “Yes.”
I Heart To Fart, now standing: “Did they just call my name!?”
PDX and I: “Yes.”
I Heart To Fart, now jumping up and down: “They just called my name!!”

By this time PDX and I realized that I Heart To Fart thought he had just been called down to play for the nifty, blue Chevy Cobalt. By this time he was already standing on his chair, jumping up and down, facing the audience, screaming at the top of his lungs, “they called my name!” Again, PDX and I tried to stop him but he had already ran toward the podium, still jumping up and down, still screaming at the top of his lungs. PDX and I continued to signal to him that he had made a mistake, but he was so caught up in the moment he didn’t understand.

The audience was in tears of laughter and it wasn’t long before the host caught wind of what was going on. He slowly made his way toward I Heart To Fart, his voice booming from the speakers for all to hear, and broke the news to out little I Heart To Fart that in fact he was not called down for a chance to win the Chevy Cobalt.

Heartbroken and sweating profusely, I Heart To Fart hugged the host and peeped the words, “but I wanted to win the Chevy Cobalt.” Again, a huge roar of laughter from the audience. Poor I Heart To Fart made his way to his seat, totally crushed.

Notice I Heart To Farts Sweaty Armpits

After the show he got a photo with the host who told him “in all of his years as a host, that was the funniest thing that had ever happened to him.” I Heart To Fart redeemed his $5 casino money for a flimsy backpack instead of the Chevy Cobalt.

Hey! I found a ton of random shit in the park today…

Can't afford to put clothes on your kids back?  Go to the park!

This ribbon read "I've got better things to do than drugs." 

Guarantee the kid smoked some weed right next to this bitch.

Don’t judge me, but I actually found a really cute Vans hoodie that I took home. I’m going to wash it up real good and give it to Mr. Coconut’s son, ha! No really, I’m serious.  Sure I probably have an STD now and Mr. Coconut's son will probably get it and that will be a really fun thing to try and explain in court, but whatever. 

Really?  Directions to a heated blanket? 

How the hell does this find it's way to the middle of a park?

That is all.

Sauerkraut

P.S.  Thank you SO much for commenting on my blog, it makes me happy!  My chicken nuggets are burning so I must go.