I'm Ordained

Sauerkraut Here!

Nothing cool happens in my life. I wake up every morning, check on my pumpkins, I have nine by the way, and that’s about it.

Today my mom brought me some mail and I was super excited to see that one of the items I received was the 2010 exhibitor handbook for the state fair, I spent about an hour thumbing through, looking at all of the contests I plan to enter, I hope I win something.

I can’t decide if I should enter the cake contest? I entered last year, made a cake and re-made the cake three times before running it over with my car. In other words, I wasted a ton of time and money… I get very stressed out and my inner perfectionist comes out. The theme is “birthday cake,” which could be fun, but I’m still on the fence about it.

What else did I do today? Oh! I became and ordained minister. Yup. It’s true, I can marry you, and my “certificate” is in the mail… I really need a fucking life.

- Last night I performed an operation sweatpants. 

- Last night after my grandmother ripped a huge fart she told me she had a “12 horsepower.” I’m not sure what that is.

- This morning my grandmother yelled, "help me," in her sleep, that was awkward.

- Today she was looking at my Blackberry and I was telling her everything it could do when she told me that, “it could also be my boyfriend.” I replied, “it does vibrate.” She was shocked, but took it very well.

Anyways, tomorrow I’m heading back to Boise, Idaho for the birth of my nephew, he’s due in one week from tomorrow.  I should charge my camera. 

That is all.

Sauerkraut

P.S. My favorite cheesy show, “The Ghost Whisper,” has been canceled, I’m super sad.