Fun With The Grandparents

Sauerkraut Here!

It’s 9:00PM at night and I’m up making ginger molasses cookies, they smell so good. Perhaps the best part of the evening came from my grandfather… He’s in the living room watching the original Superman movie. While I was standing in the kitchen making cookies he yelled, for all to hear, “wow! Look at the boobs on that gal!” Neat O. A little awkward, but okay. And yes, I did go see the boobies. What?

And now kids its time for questions with grandma, here we go…

1) If you could be any animal what would you be?

"I wouldn’t want to be a horse because there are picked on. I wouldn’t want to be a cow because who needs those big utter? So, I guess I’d be an elephant… Because than I would be big enough to stomp on anything I didn’t like."

2) What’s your dream job?

"Working with people, maybe I’d be a perfume sprayer. I’d stand by the counter and spray everybody as they come by."

3) What’s your favorite restaurant?

"The Sizzler I guess."

4) If you could have been a prostitute would you have been?

"No, I think sex is for the birds, but they did have pretty clothes."

5) If you were a Disney princess which one would you be?

"Cinderella so those people would finally believe I was the prettiest."

6) When you were younger who did you have a crush on?

"John Wayne, boys in school… Until I discovered they were rude, ignorant and all they wanted to do was get in your pants and Tom Selleck, he has wide hips, which means he has a good stable butt.”

And there you have it folks, tonight’s episode of Questions with Grandma! Also, today:

- I purchased three tickets to the demolitian derby.  Could I be more trashy?  What if I told you I live for this event and I go every year?

- I caught my grandparent’s dog (Pet Cemetery) on the kitchen table today eating graham crackers.
- My grandparents went to "Osco" today, AKA Costco, and my cute grandpa spoiled me.  Not only did he buy the bread I like (I don't know what it's called I just know it comes in the red package) and some teeth whitening strips, he also bought me the biggest box of Pop*Tarts ever, "because I like them!"  Isn't that cute?  That's part of why I made him cookies tonight.  Cute little grandpa.  

- My nephew, Dweedle, is exactly a week old.

I would like to sleep now and my life is lame.  Rawr.

That is all.

Sauerkraut