Yard Sale! And Some Other Stupid Crap

Sauerkraut Here!

Finally! I’m home! I never left town, but for the past four days I’ve been at my mother’s house… Longing for my computer.

On Friday I woke up early and headed to my mothers house to help her prepare for her yard sale on Saturday. We did a bunch of boring crap… Mow the lawn, sweep off the carport, etc. But, I did plant three of my pumpkins. Then came the fun stuff… My “kind of/sort of family” stopped by to hang out and drop off their yard sale stuff for the next day. It was nice to see/visit with them, but even nicer to have company around.

Saturday morning I woke up super early and again headed to my mother’s house for the yard sale. When I woke up I realized it was raining and although I love the rain, I was not looking forward to having a yard sale in the rain.

We had four yard sales in one. Basically, there were four different people selling their crap at our yard sale and somehow I ended up as the cashier, not a good idea. When a customer would walk up with an arm full of stuff that belonged to four different people I had to separate it, record the amount owed to each individual, total the price for the customer and exchange the money. Very annoying.

To make it easier we used colored stickers: my mother and I were pink, my kind of/sort of aunt was green, my mothers co-worker was square shaped stickers and my mothers friend was masking tape. However, not everything had a sticker on it… So I had to yell, for all to hear “is this yours? How much? Will you take $2?” Very professional.

Another thing that annoyed me was all of the cheap people. It’s a fucking dollar people! Seriously, are you so cheap that you have to talk us down to a quarter? Clearly you are. And here’s the thing… It’s not like they only had $5 in their pocket, because when it was time to pay, they wanted me to break a twenty. Fucking assholes.

More stuff that pissed me off… I sold my Nike Air Force 1’s for three bucks! These are classic shoes! Worn twice, perfect condition and super pricey! Three dollars! Fuck my life.

And finally, the grunge-a-muffin child. Early in our yard sale we were visited by a mother and her child, they smelled. The poor little girl, maybe 6 years old, was dressed in a skirt that would fit a 3-year-old and a polo shirt that would fit me. I’m not sure who cut her hair, but it was obviously a fan of the botch job mullet. They walked around for freaking ever and then drove away.

Later, they came back and asked to use our bathroom? Seriously? Who does this? Who walks up to a random house and a random stranger and asks to use their bathroom? I’m sure my mother only said yes because 1) She’s too nice to say no 2) She knows what it’s like to have a 6-year-old daughter who has to pee and 3) How do you say no to that? Although, I probably could.

In this situation I would have left the yard sale and driven to the closest gas station, which is about a block away from my mothers house. Luckily, our bathroom is being remodeled so there wasn’t anything in there to steal, but still. Eventually the mother purchased a few things… No clothing for her little girl, which we had, but rather a photo frame with the word “family” etched on it. Makes you wonder.

On Sunday I went to a surprise birthday party for my kind of/ sort of cousin, and it was super fun. When I arrived, I walked up to my kind of/sort of cousin and wished her a happy birthday, to which she replied, “next week! But thanks!” Later my mother informed me that she still was unaware that it was her birthday party, oops. Lucky for me I wasn’t the only one to mess up. When she did find out that the party was for her she was excited and joking that she was so conceded because she thought she was so special that everyone remembered her birthday was coming up.

Anyways, there was food, cake and games. My personal favorite was blindfolded kick ball. One of my kind of/sort of cousins is legally blind (as is her husband) and the party host’s created a game that everyone could play. It was fucking hilariously awesome.

Oh! And Mr. Coconut came to visit. I put him to work at the yard sale and he was shy and anti-social at the birthday party, joy! He is gone now, but I will see him in two weeks when I drive to Utah to attend his company party at Lagoon… Which I’m sure the only reason I was invited was to help him watch his children, fun.

More dumb and pointless shit…

- I have been fired from teaching swim lessons (in the morning) for one week. I didn’t do anything wrong, but only two kids signed up for this session and because I am traveling so far to teach lessons, my boss (my kind of/sort of cousin) decided to make some local girls teach the lessons, instead of me, I am happy.

- When I pulled up to my grandparent’s house on Thursday I discovered three dead, baby birds. I’m not sure how they died, but I’m guessing they were blown out of their nest in a wind gust, sad. The part that bothered me is that my grandparents saw that they were there and just walked past them. I felt it was necessary to burry them, so I scooped them up and placed them in my grandfather’s compost pile… That’s what he gets for walking past them.

Sceen of the crime.

Bird #1... My favorite.

Bird #2

Bird #3

- For my mother’s 50th birthday I bought her a snowball bush. She had wanted one for a long time and I searched everywhere for one, I found one in Logan, Utah. On the evening of her 50th birthday, we planted it. I remember it was dark, most everyone was drunk, including her boyfriend at the time, who was trying very hard to hold the cow flashlight straight and we were racing against the clock to get this thing planted before her birthday expired, indeed we did. Each year I get very excited when it blooms because it was a fun day to relive and it looks so cute and puffy. Anyways, it has bloomed and I love it.

- Perhaps the individual driving this truck's name is Ky, but I wouldn't put "KY WILD" on my license plate simply because there are people out there, like me, who will think this guy is a lube freak and having sex with a bunch of dry women!  Or men!  Just saying.

That is all.

Sauerkraut

P.S. I could really go for a waffle from the Waffle Window right about now. Meow.