I Finally Laid Eyes On Dweedle

Sauerkraut Here!

Wowzers! What a day with the nephews, I think they‘re PMSing. Or, maybe Izzy is starting to understand that he is no longer the master in control, Dweedle is, bummer for him. Regardless, they’re sucking the life out of their mother and I feel helpless. Izzy doesn’t want my attention so I can’t help out there and Dweedle… Let’s just say I’m not comfortable with the idea of my nephew sucking on my chi chi.

Anyways, yesterday was a special day, I finally got to meet my nephew, Dweedle Bug.

Most girls get all stupid and shit at the mention of babies, I on the other hand, spent the majority of my drive sweating like a whore in church because I was so fucking nervous. Yeah, it’s true, babies make me really nervous and to be honest I don’t have much experience in that department. In fact, in my entire life I’ve only held three… My niece, Carly, Izzy and now Dweedle.

So, when I arrived in Boise I was hesitant to go inside the house, but when I finally did lay eyes on him, I was okay… Actually, it was after he was plopped into my arms that I was okay. I was amazed at how tiny he was and really happy that he wasn’t ugly or sporting a third nipple.

However, my nephew was less than happy to met me…

First he stuck he tounge out at me...

and then he flipped me off.  Neat-O.

In other news, yesterday was bumper sticker day. On my way to Boise I passed an old woman trotting the highway in her Toyota, fancy. As I passed her I noticed the following bumper sticker…

Instantly I wanted a photo. I slowed down and got my camera ready, hoping she would pass me, but she never did. Lucky for me she took the same exit as me. I watched to see which direction she was turning off the exit and planned on going in which ever direction she was headed. Again I got lucky, she went in my desired direction, to the very same gas station I was going to.

I pumped my gas as fast as I could, pulled my car out of the way and went after her. I slowly approached her car, tapped on her window, hoping not to give her a heart attack and asked her if I could take a photo of her bumper sticker…. When dealing with old people I think it’s always best to be polite. Plus, I didn’t want her family to think I was about to pull a gun on her (in my case a tampon) and steal her Toyota… Because everybody steals a Toyota when there’s other cars to choose from. Rawr.

Blah, blah, blah. Anyways, she was an adorable old woman, who giggled as she told me about how she found her bumper sticker in Philadelphia. I snapped a photo, wished her a good afternoon and went on my way.

Later, after I arrived in Boise, I was in a Wal*Mart parking lot when I saw the following bumper sticker…

Not gonna lie, this too is pretty fucking awesome. However, Wal*Mart is the fucking devil and I hate their clothing selection. Yeah! And we stole diapers, soda and some other shit from you, so suck it!

What else…

- Could THIS be a "Curious Case of Benjamin Button?"

- At Wal*Mart I was pushing my nephew in a shopping cart and when I looked down my nephew had his lips puckered up. I gave him a kiss and continued on our way, until I noticed he was still puckered up, I had to give the little guy four kisses before he done. Weirdo.

- You know you have love for a kid when you're more than willing to sit in a hot car, parked in the sun, just so he can get some sleep.  Anything for my little nephew.

- Today my nephew was playing in the sprinkler when he decided it would be a great idea to pick it up. It was spraying him in the face (which he hates) and he couldn’t understand why. Trying to get help from his mother he charged toward us, drenching us in water. His mother and I ran away as fast as we could, abandoning my TEN DAY OLD nephew and just as we’re rushing away, screaming, a car drives past. Here’s the thing, no cars ever drive past my brothers house and hell yes they’re laughing at us, but can you blame them? Anyways, it wasn’t until Dweedle started crying that we realized we had abandon him and that Izzy had also soaked him in water, poor thing.

- Izzy got cute new shoes today.

- My brothers girlfriend went outside to move the water and Izzy was so upset that when he was standing at the door, screaming his head off, he decided to piss, all over door.

- And my favorite event of the visit… Yesterday, Izzy was playing outside, naked, when he decided it would be a great time to take a shit. Sure enough he pushed out three tiny turds… And lined them up into a neat little row. So proud.

That is all.

Sauerkraut

P.S.  Another photo of my new little man, Dweedle.  He didn't wear this outfit very long because he peed and it leaked out on some lady that was holding him at the bowling alley.